Dress and then address

13- Dress and then address

One important but often overlooked aspect of book distribution, is how we dress. The whole process of distributing a book depends on people getting a positive impression of the book distributor. If they get attracted to the book distributor’s mood, qualities, sincerity and appearance, they will stop and hear his presentation, but if they see him as an unpleasant person, it’s going to be very difficult to distribute books to them. 

By dressing in a nice way, we increase our chances of making a good impression, and therefore to distribute a book. Krsna consciousness means to use our intelligence to do our service in the best possible way, and in book distribution this includes dressing in a presentable way. As Srila Prabhupada said to devotees of a chanting party in the 1970s: “I understand that you are renounced, but for my sake, please dress nicely!” When we go out, we are representing Srila Prabhupada and our previous acaryas, so we have the duty of presenting ourselves in a respectable way.

Srila Prabhupada didn’t insist on the use of devotional clothes on book distribution (you can check, for example, his purport to CC Madhya 14.5). His main principle is that devotees should dress nicely. As he said one time: “Dress and then address”. If we go using devotional clothes, we need to use a good dhoti or sari, with a good kurta and good shoes. If we go on secular clothes, we should use respectable clothes (like ladies and gentlemen), being attentive especially to the shirt and shoes. Those are the items that people notice first. Needless to say, we must be very clean, and the clothes must be in pristine condition, without holes, stains, etc. 

14- Being a sadhu

It’s important to always be nice and polite with people, even when they are rude to us. In some cases, we may just accept the book back and leave the person without interacting further, but we must resist the impulse of answering impolitely when someone is nasty. In such cases, better to stay silent or just say: “Thank you for your time, have a good day. My sincere good wishes to you”. 

Even if someone offends you, if you don’t accept the offense, then the person will have to take it back. There is a history, usually attributed to Lord Buddha, that illustrates this point. There was a pure sadhu who was always peaceful. Somehow, one materialistic man became envious of him and would regularly come to him and shout all kinds of insults. Every time, the sadhu would just listen in silence, without showing any reaction. As a result, the man would eventually get frustrated and leave. One time the man couldn’t contain himself and asked: “Every day I come here and say so many insults, but you just hear in silence, how is it?”. The sadhu replied: “Yes, every day you come here and throw so much garbage, but because I don’t accept your garbage, every day you have to take it back with you.” 

We should always remember SB 4.11.13 which I quoted earlier: “The Lord is very satisfied with His devotee when the devotee greets other people with tolerance, mercy, friendship and equality”. Nowadays people live very artificial and empty lives, therefore almost everyone is disturbed and insane to some extent. Our job is to keep our minds stable even in unpalatable circumstances, which demands that we get free from the clutches of the false ego and start doing what is better for the person whom we are talking to and for the mission, without trying to defend our pride or position like a materialist would do. This is part of our training. 

HG Vaisesika Prabhu: There are a couple of practical things I’ve learned over the years in regard to customer care. For instance, we know that there are mantras to introduce a book. For example, devotees often say something like “This is a book on yoga and meditation. It helps you get free from stress and anxiety.” It’s stated in the Gita-mahatmya that one who carefully follows the instructions of the Bhagavad-gita will become free from all the miseries and anxieties of life. So this mantra exactly follows sastra and is true. If you read any of Srila Prabhupada’s books and follow the instructions given there, you’ll become free from the miseries of life. So this is a perfectly bona fide mantra. But there is also another type of mantra that I’ve been using. I call it an “exit mantra”. For example, when I finish speaking with someone I look the person squarely in the eye, shake the person’s hand, and tell him or her, “I want to thank you very much for taking your valuable time, and I want to tell you what an honor it was to meet you.”

People really like that. Sometimes they’re miraculously affected. They may have originally responded with something like “No, I’m not interested in this; I don’t want to give a donation; I’m a Christian and I don’t believe in this.” I thank the person from the bottom of my heart, telling him, “I want to thank you very much for taking your valuable time, and I want to tell you how much of an honor it was to meet you.” And while I’m saying that, I’m thinking of the verse in Sri Isopanisad which says that we should see every living entity as a spiritual spark, and that a person who sees like that has no anxiety or fear. This is the transcendental meditation on sankirtana. And after my “exit mantra,” the same person who said “I’m not interested” sometimes comes back a half hour later and tells me, “We would like to donate.” Several such experiences have really had a heavy impact on me and made me realize that “Wow, everything we do and say, and the way we do and say it, and even the way we think when we’re saying it and doing it, has a distinct and definite impact on the people we’re speaking to.”  (The Treasure of the Brhat-mrdanga, ch. 12)

To not only be able to control our minds, but to actually be kind and polite to people who have offended us is the real test of sanctity, that demands a lot of maturity and spiritual advancement. This is something that is only possible to develop through serious spiritual practice and determination. On the other hand, the benefits of acting properly with people, both to our own consciousness and for our preaching are tremendous. In his book “Our Family Business”, HG Vaisesika Prabhu describes the practical use of his exit mantra and its effect:

“During my stay at the Honolulu temple, I would go out every day to distribute books along Kalakawa Avenue. One day, I happened to approach a newlywed couple from Kansas City, Missouri. After I greeted them, showed them the first volume of Srimad Bhagavatam’s First Canto,  and gave them a brief summary of the book, they abruptly handed it back. They told me that they were Born-again Christians, that they only read the Bible, and that they only give donations to their church. Despite this rebuff I didn’t feel even slightly disturbed. Here’s why.

All week long in Hawaii I had been hearing and chanting with my friend and traveling companion, Satyadeva Prabhu, as well as the devotees at ISKCON Honolulu’s beautiful temple. Every day,  we had the luxury of rising together early in the morning to attend mangala-arati, to sit and chant sixteen very focused rounds in the temple room, to hear a discourse on Srimad-Bhagavatam,  to perform kirtana, to dance before Srila Prabhupada’s form and the Deities of the Panca-tattva,  and to honor krsna-prasada. 

By this intense practice, I felt happy, equipoised, and enthusiastic. Consequently, when the newlyweds summarily rejected me, I neither expressed nor felt disappointment or annoyance.  On the contrary, as a result of my strict practice of devotional service at the temple, I was able to feel and press nothing but goodwill toward them. Warmly, I voiced my appreciation for them, saying, “I completely understand your position. In fact, I am indebted to you for taking your valuable time to talk with me. I feel truly honored to have met you.” I uttered these words as they rose directly from my heart. I later found out that those words had had a strong effect on the newlyweds. Anyone who practices strong sadhana, starting with focused chanting of japa, receives such empowerment. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu affirms in His famous Siksastaka that the Supreme Lord has kindly invested all of His spiritual potencies in His holy name (nija-sarva-saktis tatrarpita).  And Srila Prabhupada writes that by chanting the Lord’s holy name, “one can derive all the stipulated energy synchronized from all sources.”  Therefore,  devotees who take the time each day to chant Hare Krsna with rapt attention purify their hearts and automatically develop good qualities such as tolerance and goodwill toward others, qualities that attract people’s minds and hearts. 

Having parted ways with the newlyweds, I happily continued distributing Srila Prabhupada’s books. Thirty minutes later, as I was showing a college student a Bhagavad-gita As It Is, I noticed that the newlywed couple were standing nearby, watching me. When I finished speaking to the student, the newlyweds approached me to give a five-dollar donation. As they handed it to me they apologized for being dismissive earlier. They said that they had changed their minds about not giving a donation, that they felt I was sincerely trying to do something good to help the world,  and that they wanted to help me. I thanked them and accepted their donation, but I also offered them the same book they had earlier rejected. I explained that it was my rule never to accept a donation without giving something in return. They hesitated for a moment, but then smiled and accepted the book. We spoke for a while and then parted as friends. 

Needless to say, I was delighted to see the change in this newlywed couple. What’s more, this encounter left me with two indelible impressions. First, people are sensitive; that is, they can perceive the motive of another person, just as the newlyweds sensed mine. Living entities are called sentient precisely because they have the ability to feel and perceive. Even animals are known for their capacity to sense goodwill in their caretakers or aggression in their abusers;  how much more, then, must human beings be able to perceive such things. 

The second impression I was left with was that the quality and effectiveness of my speech directly corresponds to the quality of my devotional practice. The warm words I had spoken in response to the newlywed couple’s annoyance were manifestations of a descending grace that had come to me owing to my chanting of Krsna’s holy name and the friendship I had enjoyed with the devotees of the Honolulu temple.

Book distributors who faithfully take the prescribed spiritual medicine of strong daily sadhana become naturally endowed with appealing and invaluable assets such as knowledge, detachment, and goodwill — assets that empower their service. What’s more, since their practice of devotional service affords them an overflow of taste, they have plenty to share with others.” (HG Vaisesika Prabhu, Our Family Business, chapter 13)

By being respectful with the public, we can avoid having many types of negative interactions. Not only that, in many cases people change quite remarkably because of our politeness. One time, I was distributing books in a small bus station in a remote city. At some point, a big, drunk man came to me shouting and demanded to know what these books are and why I was selling them. Quite an aggressive fellow. It was a small bus station, therefore there were no guards. People started to walk away, sensing trouble. I started to just talk very respectfully to him, answering his questions in a calm and polite way. After a few minutes he cooled down a little, and I finally offered him a book. He angrily asked: “How much is this??”. I put on my most sattvic face and answered: “Just give a donation from your heart”. Amazingly enough, this drunk, aggressive man took his wallet out and gave a good donation! I became a little bit bold and asked him if he had a family. He answered that he had a wife and a child. “Can you do me a favour?” I asked. He answered yes. “Can you bring these two books for them?”. He took the books and gave a little more. Not only I survived unharmed the giant drunkard, but in the end he took three books!

There is, however, an exception to this general rule. While we should always be respectful and tolerate offenses directed to ourselves, a preacher should never tolerate offenses directed to Vaishnavas, or to Krsna Himself. As Srila Prabhupada explains in his purport to CC Adi 10.85: “humility and meekness are appropriate when one’s own honor is insulted but not when Lord Visnu or the acaryas are blasphemed. In such cases one should not be humble and meek but must act.

In the same purport, he elaborates further on this subject:

“One should follow the example given by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Lord Caitanya says in His Siksastaka (3):trnad api su-nicena  taror iva sahisnuna amanina mana-dena  kirtaniyah sada harih “One can chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking himself lower than the straw in the street. One should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige, and should be ready to offer all respect to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.” Nevertheless, when the Lord was informed that Nityananda Prabhu was injured by Jagai and Madhai, He immediately went to the spot, angry like fire, wanting to kill them. Thus Lord Caitanya has explained His verse by the example of His own behavior. One should tolerate insults against oneself, but when there is blasphemy committed against superiors such as other Vaisnavas, one should be neither humble nor meek: one must take proper steps to counteract such blasphemy. This is the duty of a servant of a guru and Vaisnavas.”

This is a principle that Srila Prabhupada was showing in his personal example. We can see many examples in his conversations, and also in memories of his disciples. He would never tolerate insults against Krsna, our previous acaryas, or even against his own preaching disciples. In every case, he would strongly object and defeat the opponent using arguments.

HH Badrinarayana Maharaja: There was a professor from Cal Tech who had studied Vedanta and who appreciated what he saw as Prabhupada’s simplistic presentation, appropriate for the neophytes in the West. This professor thought that as one went further into Vedanta, one understood how the form becomes formless, and he quoted Sanskrit slokas to support his viewpoint. Prabhupada didn’t even look at him. Prabhupada looked at the Deities of Radha and Krishna and chanted Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare… while the professor went on speaking. Finally the professor ran out of steam. Prabhupada said, “Are you finished?” and then Prabhupada started quoting from the Puranas, the Vedas, the Vedanta Sutra, the Upanisads, the Samhitas, as if he were hammering a nail into the ground. For this man it was like body blows. Everyone was sitting on a big rug, but this man was standing. As Prabhupada spoke in his lionlike way the professor stooped a little bit, then he was on his knees, then he could have melted into the floor. Prabhupada, with his noble bearing and his hand in his bead bag, made point after point. It came to a crescendo. Prabhupada finished and said, “Do you have any further questions?” The professor said, “Swami, can we have kirtan?” His complaint had been that we just chanted and danced like sentimentalists. The devotees said “Jaya!” The professor had seen the light, so to speak. (Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint – Volume 1)

Sometimes people just have misconceptions that can be gently brushed off, in such cases we can just explain things in a nice way and they will understand. If one is envious, however, he may actually blaspheme out of malice. In such cases, we need to strongly object, and defeat the offender with appropriate arguments, according to time, place and circumstance. The best is to learn how to do it quickly, so our time on book distribution is not wasted. If the situation is just not worth it, or if one is not learned enough to argue, he may just dismiss the offender and continue his book distribution (moving to a different spot if that’s the case) but in no circumstance should one remain sheepishly hearing.

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