Associating with devotees but still alone?

Not all devotees are perfect. In any group or community, we can find devotees from different backgrounds and at different stages of spiritual development, all mixed. Some of them may be highly evolved people who show genuine saintly qualities, while others may not behave much better than the average Joe you may meet in the street. However, devotees are still the best of the bunch. Usually, the best people from each class are the ones who become devotees. On the other hand, we may often have the impression that living amongst devotees is not so great. Often we meet people who are not good-natured, and we may feel dislocated, not being able to find like-minded souls.

We may find it hard to reconcile these two ideas. On the one hand, devotees are supposed to be the best people, and on the other, we may often have trouble relating to devotees around us. How is it so?

There are two points that are worth considering.

One is that although devotees are usually the best of the bunch, it still depends on where are we recruiting our new members. If we preach to gangsters, we will get the best gangsters, which may not be so great. To find good people we need to find ways to broadcast Krsna Consciousness among people who are already on a more pious level. Anyone can become saintly by chanting the holy names, but how fast this transformation may happen depends a lot on where one is starting.

A second point is that when we live in a big city, with multi-million inhabitants, chances are we will be able to find our group of like-minded people somewhere among these millions, be it among family members, friends, or co-workers. When we come to Krsna Consciousness, however, we generally start associating with a much smaller circle of devotees in our local congregation, and the chances of finding like-minded people become smaller. In this way, instead of having a circle of a few dozen like-minded people around us, we may be able to find just one or two very good friends, or sometimes not even that. When we fail to find our group of like-minded people, we may force ourselves to associate with people we don’t have much in common just because they are the only devotees around, and our experience may not be so great. As Srila Prabhupada explains, even just two like-minded devotees who are able to cooperate can make great advancement together, but a large group of non-like-minded devotees who can’t find ways to cooperate will struggle to make any advancement at all.

How to solve that?

There are a few things that we can do.

The first is to try to expand our horizons, getting in contact with more devotees over Zoom and other virtual means, traveling and visiting other yatras as well as festivals, and so on. As we expand our circle of acquaintances, the chances of finding a group of like-minded devotees increase. As we find our sanga, our happiness in spiritual life grows.

Another point is to try to bring like-minded friends and relatives to Krsna consciousness. As the saying goes, birds of the same feather flock together. If we have an interest in Krsna Consciousness, it’s quite possible that people with whom we have affinity will also have a similar propensity. If we can properly cultivate them and they also become devotees, we will have life companions who will continue sharing the same interests, and avoid all the frustration of trying to find new friends in Krsna Consciousness from scratch.

The third point is our own spirtual progress. As we advance in spirtual life and improve our personal qualities, our capacity to interact with other people and bring up the best in them increases, and thus our circle of like-minded people naturally grows.

It’s said that a pure devotee is dear both to the gentle and the ruffians. One good example of this can be noted in the life of Jayananda Thakur, the famous disciple of Srila Prabhupada. By this meek behavior he was able to make genuine friends amongst all classes of people, souls who would come to Krsna Consciousness because of him, and would remain his close friends afterward.

“He was as much at home with the Italians at the produce market as with the brahmacharis in the temple. He would make friends on street sankirtan, and they would often come up to him and say, “Hey, where have you been?” Once a devotee was approached by a staggering drunk in San Francisco. The drunk looked at his robes and asked the devotee, “Hey, where’s my old friend Jayananda?”
Many devotees, including Danavir and Chandan Acharya, had the experience of taking over Jayananda’s old territory on incense-selling runs or bhoga runs. They would meet people who said such things as, “Where is Johnny Ananda?” or “That man – he’s the nicest and most pure man I’ve ever met.” One man told Chandan Acharya, “Well, I don’t know much about your philosophy, but if that Jayananda is into it, it must be all right.”
Once, near the Ratha-yatra cart work site, Jayananda invited Keshava to step inside a bar and meet some friends of his. They walked inside and immediately some 25 faces looked up and smiled brightly. Someone said, “Oh, this must be your friend you were telling us about, the temple president.” They presented the two devotees with a sack full of vegetarian groceries which they had chipped in together to buy.
Among the devotees, Jayananda was like a big brother, always compassionate and willing to listen to them. But devotees rarely burdened him with their problems. “When you were around Jayananda,” said Karandhara, “you had no problems.”
The devotees loved Jayananda and talked about him during long drives on traveling sankirtan. He was dear to them because he had a sense of humor, too. Jambavan recalls being awakened one night at midnight by Jayananda. “Wake up,” said Jayananda, “I’ve got a benediction for you.” He then pushed a big samosa into the sleepy Jambavan’s mouth.
Like Maharaja Yudhisthira, Jayananda’s enemy was never born.” (The Life of Jayananda Prabhu, by Kalakantha dasa)