Srila Prabhupada used to say that practicing spiritual life is like declaring war against Maya. Often we think that Maya refers to Durga, the material energy, but it’s a little different from that. Durga is actually an indirect expansion of Srimati Radharani (just as Lord Shiva is an indirect expansion of Krsna), where she plays the role of the universal mother, giving bodies to all the living entities, trying to gradually bring them to Krsna and punishing them when necessary. Durga is not our enemy, the problem is the illusion of trying to enjoy matter, which appears when we become envious of Krsna and try to take His place. Practicing Krsna Consciousness means trying to remove this artificial covering that obstructs our real self. That’s what it means to fight against Maya.
In a sense, that’s the hardest fight of all, because it entails defeating an enemy that is inside of ourselves, instead of simply defeating an external force. It demands a lot of introspection and internal work, that is supported by external activities, such as serving others, studying the scriptures, and so on. Chanting the holy names can also start as an external activity (of just making mechanical sounds using our tongues), the challenge is to convert it into a deep, internal activity. That’s exactly when the miracle starts.
In this war against our own contaminated nature, it helps a lot when we have a proper psyche, nourished by healthy relationships with our parents, spouses, and so on. Such a healthy psychological state gives us a good foundation from which we can practice the spiritual process and reap the benefits.
The problem in most cases is exactly that we don’t have such a foundation. Most of us come from dysfunctional families, which in turn leads to dysfunctional relationships with spouses, children, and even friends and relatives. Such failed relationships and betrayals leave deep scars in our hearts that make things much harder for us. Even taking birth in a family of devotees is not a guarantee, since we also have our fair share of dysfunctional families inside our movement.
Not only such wounds can easily make our hearts hard, but they also give us a sense of regret or unfulfillment that is hard to leave behind. All of this combined makes our path to Godhead much harder.
There is no point in lamenting, however. There is a famous saying that goes like this: “You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have.” Things in our life may be far from perfect, but that’s the army we have, so to speak, and we don’t have any other option than to just try to do our best with what we have. No amount of lamentation will fix what already happened.
When we concentrate in the future and in the challenges we have ahead instead of mulling over the past we often can find strength that we didn’t imagine we had. Such strength can then help us find solutions or external help to deal with our internal problems and progress in spiritual life.
Krsna did His part by giving to us a much easier process that people had in other eras, giving us a realistic chance of succeeding. Because we are in such a desperate situation, facing so many difficulties and shortcomings, we can also count on special mercy. That’s why great sages and demigods consider that the time we live is actually the most auspicious of all.
Our path back to Godhead includes leaving behind all regrets and frustrations, as well as letting go of different types of pains and unfulfilled desires. Many of us will not be able to get rid of all this baggage in this life, and will, by the mercy of Krsna, get another birth in a more favorable situation, where we will have better chances to complete our spiritual path. However, some of us, by the mercy of guru and Krsna, may be able to find the strength to leave it behind and go back to Godhead in this life. We don’t lose anything for trying.