Nowadays homosexuality is a huge topic. There are men who are attracted to other men, and ladies who feel attracted to other ladies. One could discuss if this is good or bad, but the fact is that many who have this tendency become attracted to Krsna and try to follow devotional life, and of course, they often face a lot of challenges inside our movement. How can a sincere person surpass these obstacles and be able to practice and achieve success in spiritual life?
In this article, I’m not going to discuss if homosexuality is good or bad, nor enter into the institutional aspects of it. Instead, I will just focus on the individual and his potential challenges in his practice of Krsna Consciousness and how it may be surpassed.
The first challenge is the reaction of other devotees and all problems related to that. In many countries with a more traditional culture, homosexual devotees can face serious discrimination. This is of course not according to our philosophy (we are supposed to see people as souls) but can happen frequently when dealing with immature devotees. So, the first challenge is to protect oneself against that. The solution here is to find mature devotees with whom one can associate without fear of judgment and who can help him face the challenges in his spiritual life.
The second point is to understand that Krsna Consciousness can be practiced by anyone in any condition. There are many rules and regulations one is recommended to follow so his progress in Krsna Consciousness can be quick, but even if someone is not capable of refraining from performing sinful acts, he should still never stop practicing Krsna Consciousness. Sometimes, a situation where one is in a position perceived by others as lower can be conducive to spiritual advancement if it leads one to develop humility and seek shelter in Krsna and in advanced devotees. Obstacles can help us to grow when we take them from the right perspective.
The third point is affective and sexual problems. In one sense, the problems a homosexual faces are not different from the ones a heterosexual faces. Both have the need for relationships and have to deal with sexual urges. The difference here is that for a heterosexual there is a clear path prescribed in the scriptures: to enter family life and use his lust to establish and maintain a family. By growing his children and caring for His wife or husband one can purify his lust and gradually ascend to the spiritual platform.
If one is attracted to the same sex the question becomes more complicated, since such a clear path is not available. In this situation, the relationship with the spiritual master becomes even more important, since the spiritual master is not only the last word in terms of spiritual instructions, but he is the only one who has the authority to bend the principles of spiritual practice according to the challenges faced by his disciple. No one has the authority to allow one to divorce, for example, but the spiritual master can sometimes make a concession if he sees that this can be the best chance for his disciple in spiritual life.
Apart from concessions made by the spiritual master, there are a few paths one can consider according to his inclinations and level of determination:
One can try to be celibate. This is of course the most difficult path and demands a great deal of spiritual strength. There are a few cases of devotees who were homosexuals when they joined, but were able to find a higher taste in Krsna Consciousness and thus were able to remain as brahmacharis, up to the point of becoming accepted as role models, and naturally, there are others who are able to do the same while living outside. It’s a very difficult path, but some can do it if they are able to remain focused on the spiritual process.
Another option is to try to establish a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, a nice and supportive person, and enter into family life. The advantage in his case is that, although one may not feel sexually satisfied, this relationship can address his physiological needs. If the spouse is supportive, this can help enormously to address one’s emotional difficulties, which are frequently the basis for his sexual challenges. Naturally, things can also go terribly wrong here, so it’s also a path that demands a great deal of caution. If one wants to try this option, some solid guidance from non-judgemental senior devotees is essential.
If no better option is possible, one can restrict himself to a monogamous relationship with a member of the same sex. There is precedence from Srila Prabhupada, who recommended this to a male disciple when other possibilities failed. Although far from ideal, this option may allow one to at least avoid promiscuous sex, which is naturally the most dangerous option. From there, one can continue practicing Krsna consciousness and gradually ascend from a platform of lust to a platform of spiritual love for Krsna, just like any grihastha has to do. The point here is to be discrete and not start with the LGBT idea of same-sex marriage, which is very damaging to society. Marriage is an institution for conceiving children, it doesn’t make sense when it involves two persons of the same gender.
Another point that is frequently brought to the table when we discuss homosexuality is that there is mention in the Vedas of eunuchs, men who dressed and behaved like women. Arjuna Himself became one of such eunuchs during the last year of the exile of the Pandavas, due to the curse of Urvasi. During this period, he dressed in saris, had long hair with a braid, lived with the women, and taught dance to Uttara, as described in the Mahabharata.
It may seem very much like the modern idea of transsex. However, there is a crucial difference: eunuchs as described in the Vedas didn’t have an attraction to women, but also not to men. Because they didn’t have lust, they were considered purer than ordinary men and women and thus auspicious. This seems to be a crucial point to understand the passages of the scriptures mentioning eunuchs, and also an interesting goal for the ones who have this inclination. Vedic culture is all about learning to free oneself from lust, and not to just increase the fever by acting on it.