Once, a long time ago, a dispute emerged in a certain temple. Book distributors started claiming that their service was the most important, while the pujaris tried to defend themselves by maintaining that deity worship was also important. When Prabhupada came to visit, one of the book distributors tried to settle the dispute by raising his hand during a class and asking Prabhupada: What is the thing we can do that is the most pleasing to you?

He expected that Prabhupada would answer that book distribution was the most pleasing activity, but instead, Prabhupada shocked everyone by saying:

“That you become Krsna conscious”.

This was an answer that tells a lot about the mentality of a qualified spiritual leader.

In the material world, it’s very difficult to find love, or anything close to it. Everywhere people get into relationships out of interest and are quick to separate when their personal purposes are not fulfilled. People are valued only according to their capacity to fulfill certain roles. A husband loves his wife only to the extent she can fulfill whatever ideas he has about family life, and the same goes for the wife. The same applies to all levels of relationships. People are treated like computer chips and appreciated only according to their specs and capacity to fit into certain roles and perform certain functions. The ones who don’t fit are summarily rejected.

This same materialistic consciousness can also creep into spiritual movements and affect the mentality of spiritual leaders. People who are affected by such a mentality will have a certain goal in their minds and show appreciation for people who fit in this goal. In other words, their affection and loyalty are not to the people who are putting their trust in them, but to whatever personal goal they have. People who fit into this personal project will be valued and taken care of, others will be rejected. It’s the same computer chip mentality in action. Leaders on this level of consciousness deal with goals, and people are just tools to achieve such goals. Even if the goal is for Krsna, the negative effect on the people who are thus used will not be milder.

In contrast, mature devotees and spiritual authorities deal with individuals. Their main goal is to help their dependents become Krsna Conscious, and to this end, they will try to engage them in different activities according to their natural tendencies and qualifications. They will have the flexibility to move people around when they are not doing well and respect one’s decision to go on a completely different path if that’s the case. Instead of a boss who cares only about results, the mentality of a proper spiritual authority is more like that of a father, who tries to help his dependents find the best path in life.

This is something that we all should be able to understand and recognize. It’s very common to find persons who show interest in us just because we fit into a certain role that they consider pleasing, such as performing a certain service or activity or fitting into a certain pattern of behavior, and painfully observe that the same person reject us when we decide to do something else. Sometimes these people may be even playing the role of mentors or other spiritual authorities.

It’s important to be able to distinguish these from true well-wishers, who see us as personalities and thus value us not because of our specs or functions, but because who we are, and are committed to our spiritual advancement and not just to their personal projects and ambitions.