When we are starting in spiritual life, we may have the idea that purity is just around the corner: just a few years of serving and following the principles strictly and we may get there.
Unfortunately, after a few years of practicing, we often realize that becoming a pure devotee is not as easy as we initially thought. What seemed to be just a sprint of a few years becomes a long slog against our material conditioning. Material desires that we were suppressing at the beginning start to creep back and we realize that it’s going to be a tough, long battle.
Another factor that may affect us is the observation that many devotees who have been practicing for many years are still fighting the same uphill battle we do. It would be reassuring if all devotees who have been practicing for ten or twenty years would be pure devotees by now. In this case, we would see that it’s just a matter of time until we could also reach a similar level. Unfortunately, this does not always happen, and this can make us unsure about our potential, or even start to question if the process works at all.
We can practically see that even after practicing for very long periods, many are still very much conditioned by the mode of ignorance in terms of habits, behavior, relationships, etc. Sometimes, one can even have the impression that one is now more conditioned than when he started. How this can be? Is the spiritual process not supposed to make us better in every aspect?
One answer is the natural process of Anartha-nivrtti. Some can internally deal with their contaminations and surpass their conditioned nature without passing through any external crisis, but for many this is not such a silent process. Often our contaminations have to surface for us to be able to deal with them. This can lead to many crises in our spiritual life, temporary fall downs, etc. that although not very inspiring for one observing from the outside, are still a normal part of the process. When we see older devotees going through such a crisis we can meditate that these are challenges we may also face at some point, and thus we can try to learn from observing their mistakes, without being judgemental.
There is, however, also another factor: the modes of goodness and ignorance have a lot of superficial similarities. As a result, if one tries to elevate himself to a platform of renunciation (goodness) without proper guidance he can actually end up in ignorance. For example, someone who is very renounced will not care much about what clothes he is wearing. We hear descriptions of the six goswamis wearing torn clothes, for example. However, at the same time that using ragged, untidy clothes is practiced by sadhus who are renounced, for one who is not in such an elevated platform it can favor the mode of ignorance. We can see that there is a tenuous line between these two extremes, and someone who is not attentive may not be able to distinguish it.
Similarly, a renounced person may live on madhukari and not so much about what he eats, but for someone who is not so advanced, eating irregularly, or eating non-nutritious food is also conducive to the mode of ignorance. Again, the line is thin, and one can easily take one for the other.
The same comparisons could be done in terms of where one lives, and many other types of habits and traces of behavior. Once we understand this, we can see how actually one can go in the wrong direction, going to ignorance instead of goodness. We can see that nowadays mature preachers usually recommend that people dress well, have nice houses, cultivate good relationships, eat nutritious food, do exercises and take care of their health, etc. Although not exactly on the path of pure devotion, these recommendations help people to go in the right direction, reaching first a mixture of goodness and passion, before trying to ascend to a platform of renunciation. Time is showing that the long-term results of such balanced approaches are better.
Finally, there is a third mistake that we may commit, which is to relax our spiritual practice over time. That’s something most of us do as the years pass, and that’s something that can also sabotage our progress.
When we start, we often do things in a fanatical way. This is of course not ideal, but it at least helps us to get on our feet and start following the basic principles of spiritual life. The desirable progression in this case would be for us to continue following these basic practices but gradually evolve into a more mature understanding. What often happens however is that as we become more mature we start to lower our standards. In other words, we do two steps forward, but one backward, which also limits our progress and makes us keep doing things that are detrimental to our spiritual progress.
On the one hand, the main priority in spiritual life is simply to continue practicing, no matter with high or low standards, but on the other hand, being attentive to the basic principles of spiritual life helps us to ascend faster to the mode of goodness, which can help us enormously.
The bottom line is that several traps and choices in spiritual life can speed up or delay our progress. We all aim to go to the same place, but each of us starts at a different point and is faced with different obstacles and choices and thus progress is something highly individual. One who has been practicing in previous lives may progress quickly and indeed become a pure devotee in just a few years, while most of us may have to struggle during a much longer period to achieve similar results. Therefore, we should see the problems others face as a source of realization, and not as discouragement. Each of us may progress at a different pace, and thus comparing ourselves to others is rarely positive. Instead, it is better to measure our progress by comparing who we were when we started and who we are now.